Research: Excuses women give to avoid making love and how to counter them

UK: It seems you’re not alone if your sexual desire seems to have gone AWOL.

And if you regularly think: “I still love him but I’m not in the mood” and make excuses for not having sex, it’s frighteningly common.

Startling new research conducted by nutritional supplement Lady Prelox has found as many as 80% of women have experienced a lack of desire at some point in their lives.

And it’s not only older women – 28% of 25-34-year-olds admit it’s been a problem, with nearly a third losing desire after having children.

Low or a lack of libido can have far-reaching consequences – 20% of sufferers report it affects their well-being.

With many women feeling embarrassed and avoiding discussing it with their partner.

Some partners even go on to have affairs because they feel neglected – one of the top four excuses men use for infidelity.

It’s crucial that couples work together to find the cause of their problems, be it health issues, anxiety or simply a lack of technique.

Check your desire levels with my quiz, then follow my tips if you need some extra help to boost your libido – and your relationship.

Run through these four key life levels that affect libido:

Level 1: Physical health – do you have diabetes, heart disease or other conditions? Are you on medications that dampen desire? Check with your doctor about alternatives.

Level 2: Your emotional health – are you anxious, depressed or stressed?

Level 3: Relationship issues – do you argue a lot?

Level 4: Lifestyle choices – are you smoking, drinking, eating junk food? All of these affect how you feel.

    Explore things that stress you. How can you change them? Stop taking on energy-draining activities to give you more time. Check your attitude – do you make a drama out of everyday stresses when you could let things go?

    Drink less and stop smoking as this has a big impact on circulation, and in turn, desire. Start eating fresh foods. Consider a desire-boosting supplement.

    Get better at communicating your needs to your partner. Begin with a positive when you’re raising how you’re feeling about sex. Highlight how much you love X, Y or Z, but then mention you’ve been lacking desire and how much you want to improve it.

    If his technique’s lacking, start taking more control in bed. Guide his hands to where you want to be touched. Ask for more of what feels good.

    Try fantasy chat. Start gently – don’t say you’re longing for a ‘Fifty Shades’ spanking if he’s not ready. Instead whisper and imagine he’s a stranger on a beach rubbing suntan oil over you.

    Start flirting again. Do more of what you once did, like taking a steamy shower. Grab opportunities to turn up the heat. Eating melon slices? Feed each other… oops, one slice drops into your cleavage and he has to retrieve it!