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Confessions: My boyfriend is great but I still love my ex

Girl Talk
confused woman
                                                         Photo:Courtesy

Dear Coleen

I have a boyfriend who is smart, funny, genuine and handsome. In fact, he’s everything a girl could ask for. We’ve been dating for a little over a year and, for the past six months, the relationship has been long distance.

I do love him and he’s an amazing man, but there’s someone else. For the past four years I’ve been trying to forget about the guy who broke my heart. But I can’t seem to do it.

This past weekend we were hanging out, just as friends, and spending time with him, being near him and looking at him gives me butterflies. The thing is, I don’t think he would be willing to settle down and be with just me. Also, what if his feelings aren’t as strong as mine and what if I ruin our friendship?

I don’t want to end it with my boyfriend for someone who can’t commit, but I don’t want to regret not telling him and miss out on an opportunity to be with someone I’ve always loved. Help!

Coleen says

First of all, don’t you think the fact that your relationship has been a long-distance one for the past six months is heightening these feelings you have for the other guy? Are you a bit lonely or bored?

OK, here’s what I think you should do: tell your friend how you feel about him because your feelings already go deeper than friendship.

The way you feel is already affecting the friendship.

And if you do tell him and he’s not interested in romance I don’t think you can keep him in your life because you will always find it hard to move on with someone else while he’s in the background.

He sounds like a bit of a player to me, someone who likes to keep his options open. He’s the one who got away – everyone has one of those!

Most of the time, the reality doesn’t live up to your romantic notion of a rekindled affair. Be careful of trading in a good thing for something that’s just a fantasy.

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