Agony of university lecturer tricked into believing baby was his only to discover the father was a sperm donor

UK: With tears in his eyes, Jonathan squeezes the cuddly toy red cat until it lets out a weak miaow.

It was once the favourite of a little boy he believed was his son. But now it is a heartbreaking reminder of the cruel trick that tore nine-year-old Simon from him.

In 2004, university lecturer Jonathan’s wife Susan persuaded him to have a child with her through IVF – only to secretly use her ex-boyfriend’s sperm instead.

She split from Jonathan six months after Simon’s birth in 2005 – but he fought for access to the little lad and over the years, paid out £80,000 in maintenance.

But in 2011, after six years of deception, the truth came out.

Nine days ago Jonathan was awarded £39,000 in damages in a court battle which cost Susan £100,000, including legal costs.

Yet today Jonathan, now 60, tells the Sunday Mirror it’s not the money he wants, but the boy he thought was his son.

Simon is growing up without him in London, just 30 miles from his home

Jonathan says: “To have a child taken from you – a child who you love and think is your own – that is the cruellest thing anyone can do.

"This has taken over my life and I will never be the same again. I will love him forever and nothing will change that. It’s too strong.

“My entire world has been crushed. It is as though my son was ripped from me and sucked into a black hole.

“Now I can only live in hope that he will contact me when he is older but I don’t know if he will. I may never see him again.

“It’s not about the money, it’s about a little boy who I loved and still love as my own –and a cruel woman who used him as a pawn in her sick games.”

Since Susan’s sick con came to light four years ago Jonathan has been allowed contact with Simon but in the past 18 months it has been reduced to only a few minutes.

She has full parental rights over the youngster even though it has emerged she isn’t the biological mother. She used a donor egg with sperm from her ex, Paul.

But a legal anomaly says a woman who carries a child, regardless of its DNA, is considered its mother by law.

Jonathan says: “She should have no greater claim than I do. I thought my sperm was used to make that child, but she has no shared DNA with him either.

“Yet he is with her every day while I just long to have him here. I have no rights. I was his dad in every way. I saw him several times a week and we played football and hide and seek and went to the park.

“I imagined his future with me in it and I was so proud of him.”

It all began when Jonathan and Susan met in 1998 at a singles’ bash in London. He was 44 and just out of a 20-year marriage.

She was in her late 30s and still living with Paul, even though they had split.

Within three months they moved in together and Paul was given his marching orders – but stayed in the picture.

Four months into their relationship, Susan began pushing for marriage, demanding an engagement ring worth more than £1,000 and wanting children.

Jonathan already had two kids and had a vasectomy, but he agreed.

They tried two failed rounds of artificial insemination, leaving Susan focused on getting married.

Jonathan proposed to her in Prague and in 2002 they wed in a register office with just two witnesses and went on a honeymoon cruise.

But cracks in the marriage soon showed. Jonathan admits: “Looking back, I was naive and it moved way too quickly but I was wrapped up in it.

“She was so manipulative and could get whatever she wanted from me.

"She became more obsessed with ­motherhood, so I went to see a specialist to have my vasectomy reversed.”

The reversal succeeded but Susan failed to conceive naturally.

They went to an IVF clinic and businesswoman Susan was advised to use a donor egg rather than her own .

Jonathan says: “Our relationship was crumbling quickly but I still loved her. So when she suggested an IVF attempt with a donor egg and my sperm, I agreed. I wanted her happy.”

In September 2004, the couple travelled to a clinic in Barcelona where some of Jonathan’s sperm was frozen.

 

It was to be injected into donor eggs and a few months later, Susan would return alone to have the embryos implanted.

In a bizarre twist, the clinic called their home during Susan’s second visit and a member of staff was surprised to hear Jonathan answer.

Susan was forced to admit she had secretly taken Paul along with her.

Jonathan explains: “She said she took him for moral support. Then she admitted she thought about using his sperm because we’d been arguing so much and she didn’t think I wanted a baby with her.

"She was in floods of tears and said she couldn't go through with it because she only wanted to have a child with me. I felt awful but I believed her.”

A few weeks later, she tested pregnant. Jonathan says: “I felt overwhelming relief. I thought it would be a new start.”

But the couple’s baby joy was not enough to keep them together and, six months after Simon’s birth, they split.

Determined to be a good dad, Jonathan agreed to £15,000 a year in child ­support and to cover half the ­maintenance costs on the £1.5million family home where Susan stayed with Simon.

As Simon grew friends mentioned how much he looked like Susan’s ex, Paul.

And when Simon was two, Jonathan emailed the Spanish clinic to eliminate any doubt. He was assured it was his sample that had been used in the IVF.

He continued to have regular access three or four times a week, ­developing a close bond with the boy. “I loved our time together and so did he,” he says. “He was a joy to be around.”

When Jonathan pushed for more access to Simon, Susan dropped the bombshell.

He recalls: “I asked if I could have some overnight stays with Simon.

"Susan refused so I threatened a contact case. Then out of the blue I got a text telling me she needed to talk.

“I called her and she said, ‘I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while, I don’t think Simon is yours, I think he’s the spitting image of Paul’. I was stunned.

“It was like my whole world being crushed. I couldn’t believe it. None of it made sense because the clinic promised they’d used my sample.”

Yet a DNA test in July 2011 showed it was Paul, not Jonathan who had fathered the boy.

Over five years he reckons he poured around £80,000 and unlimited love into a relationship with a son who was now being ripped away from him.

A court hearing found that when Susan returned to the IVF clinic with Paul she had signed him in as Jonathan, pretending he had changed his mind and come along at the last minute.

Doctors had taken a fresh sample from Paul, unaware of his false identity. Jonathan says: “Suddenly I went from being a dad of three to a dad of two with no rights over Simon at all.

“A court ordered one hour a month contact but even that has gone now.

“I was allowed less than a minute with him on his birthday two years ago and about six minutes with him on his doorstep this year.

"It was long enough to give him a football kit and a hug before he was dragged away.”

Jonathan has since remarried, but he is no longer the man he was – and he fears for the psychological impact on Simon too.

He says: “Every time I see a child his age it affects me. The ­psychological impact of losing him is immense.

"I was in Starbucks one day when a woman held up her 18-month boy and called him Simon. I said, ‘I once had a child like that.’ It brought back such painful memories.”

“What also makes me angry is what’s been done to him. I’ve spoken to a psychologist who says it would be ­unbelievable if his personality was not adversely affected by this later in life.”

Jonathan adds: “I miss him every day. And I go through life wondering how this happened. I never dreamt anyone could do the things she’s done.

“She lives in a moral vacuum. She didn’t care about hurting anyone including me or her own son.

"It has challenged my view of humanity – but I still hope he will find me one day so we can have a relationship. I can’t stop loving him.”