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Enduring betrayal of the vows shortly after your D-day

Living

 

Broken vows
 Betrayal of the vows

“For better for worse, in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty…till death do us part. “ The vows sound so sweet and real, right?

This is what every lady given a chance, would love to hear his man repeat countless times on their wedding day to re-assure her.

Well, for some brides, luck strikes them and the reality in the vows is reflected till the end of time. For the unlucky lot however, it is dark moments full of regrets.

I don’t seem to understand why it is so hard to reciprocate love!

Do you remember? Since he set his eyes on you, approached you, used all the possible tricks to convince you that he is the right guy, spend his precious money on you at the expensive coffee outlets, drove you to his parents’ house and organizing nothing less than a queen’s wedding. Just for you? Amazing! In fact, thumbs up! As if that is not enough, the honeymoon was one luxurious stay abroad.

With all this, what human being on earth would think otherwise as they set their first foot in marriage other than living happily? Anyway, he vowed and has always promised.

Indeed, it’s a happy beginning especially in the first three months. You dare forget to peck him as he leaves for work that becomes another story. Your neighbours would always think there is chaos: The two lovebirds are arguing over a saucepan simply because each one wants to be in charge of preparing dinner.

Oh! And this is just good music to the lady! Enough of the lovey-dovey bright days. Time to shift gears.

Something isn’t just right after a short while. The atmosphere is full of mood swings. One time there is too much of cuddling while watching a movie, the next minute your guy wants to be alone. You ask a question and it is a blunt yes or no. You no longer fight for the kitchen. Leave alone the daily peck, it gets harder to even shake his hand as he leaves or arrives from work.

This is where my concern is. What happens? Does the love fade away? Or was it fake love? But why did he forsake all the other ladies and choose you for a wife? But then, you remember the piece of advice from your aunties on the night before your wedding- “anything is bound to happen”

Months later, you go to work one morning and on pulling your chair to kick off your day your secretary tells you that you are urgently needed in a meeting that would later cause problems in your marriage. There is no much talking; the greatest shareholder in the company you have added so much value to declares your position redundant. How do you face your husband with the letter in the evening?

As expected, he goes totally silent. Not even a question as to why that happened or perhaps a suggestion on the next step. Out of the little savings, you try to start a small business because you aren’t sure what the silent meant.

Just another day when you think it is a bright day for you, you start experiencing stomach muscle cramps. The doctor tells you that you could be suffering from fibroid which have to be removed. The fibroid is probably the reason why you could not get pregnant.

As a truthful lady,you share it with your hubby to find a solution that will make you enjoy the gift of children. The outcome is hostile and you wish you had kept the message to yourself. This is the time you get to understand the meaning of a sleepless night.

Your husband would rather go to his male friend’s house to watch his favourite Premiere League club play rather than his own house.

There’s truly a problem. It is either you bumped into each other and rushed into marriage without taking time to know your partner or simply the guy has lost it! No true love for you. It could also mean that that your husband is trying to get over his ex-girlfriend and you probably were an option.

Under these circumstances, a man is likely to betray what he promised. If a man has super love for you, he will try to compromise, especially in difficult situations. A good husband in the case of a lost job would be first to give his shoulder for you to lean on. I once heard a guy say, “Darling, God is the giver of children.” Truly the words of wisdom from a husband!

And in the case of shifting mood swings, it shouldn’t be that often. I understand that it’s good to give one space to act up for a day or two, it shouldn’t last for months.

So my sisters, be cautious! Get to know your guy for a reasonable period of time. Vet him thoroughly and get a conviction from deep within that it is time to spend a lifetime with him.

For those who are in the struggle already, don’t lose hope. Good news here…Take heart. Do your best and treat him like a king and remember to stick to the vows you personally made to him.

 I assure you, his guilt will lead him to appreciate you. Simple, stick to your vows whole-heartedly even if he betrays them .The result is unbelievably positive!

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