Who’s this VIP pickpocket of Lang’ata land?

NAIROBI: One of the placards Lang’ata Road Primary School children carried high in their protest read: “Mr Grabber You Will Not Live Forever!”

From this we discern first that the school community has no doubt who the ‘grabber’ in question is. He is in fact a man.

Secondly, it lets out the exasperation summarised by the resigned feeling: “How much can a man own?”

In other words if you have stooped too low as to steal from children, whoever you are, children have a right to ask, kwani utaishi milele?

Now let us shove aside the placards and train the eye at the theatrics, distractions, sideshows and political stunts that followed and ask the question: who might the VIP pick-pocket be?

The first thing to note is that the person wields power and influence. Why do we say so?

Simple, no one wants to name him and if in doubt, remember Lands Minister Charity Ngilu was quoted saying if the President continues to push her, she would name the individual then resign.

From Ngilu’s statement, it is clear the person is someone to be feared or too powerful so much that by naming him (remember we said he is a Mr!) then Mrs Ngilu would never be able to work with him again.

One might even say that to name him, Ngilu is suggesting that she would be committing what we call in the workplace a CLM (Career Limiting Move).

Again with all the intelligence and security networks at his disposal, Maj-Gen Joseph Nkaisseiry, our new Internal Affairs Cabinet Secretary, publicly gave Ngilu and chairman of National Lands Commission a 24-hour ultimatum to name the grabber.

I would tell you that Nkaissery was tactfully shifting the buck from his office. To paraphrase the all-too-familiar pop song, he didn’t want his name to be the answer to the question; Who let the dogs out?

I only know of a handful of people who can get a police station emptied of staff and armed officers sent to their ‘properties’. Surely Nkaissery knows and if he doesn’t, his junior in the next office can find out in five minutes.

To make matters more sticky, let us flip the question and ask Nkaissery how many people in Kenya are capable of opening the kernels of the police Dog Section and also marshalling 100 policemen from six police stations to a private assignment?

NAMING NAMES

You have read somewhere that the President demanded to know who the grabber is from Ngilu and the security and anti-graft chiefs.

One thing you can be sure about is that he was told; in the unlikely event he didn’t know that which is common knowledge to the kids and school community.

I mean who would withhold information from the President at that level and over a question that does not require much research?

The President asked: “Why did the headmaster allow the children to take part in the demonstration?”

The answer lies in the helplessness of the situation, the school administration would tell you, like David, they knew they were facing Goliath and one had to use brains, not brawn.

So they let the children take their case to the people’s court by appealing to the most emotional chamber in our heart.

That is what starving people do, Mr President. They send their children with a begging bowl to the neighbour knowing that not even the most miserly character in the village would allow them to go empty-handed.

Many Kenyans can swear that if the children did not stake out for their playing ground, the President and his officials, including Dr Belio Kipsang who promised his Education ministry would send experts to the school to counsel the traumatised children, the big guys would not have come out of their comfort zones to confront the shameful act.

We must also correct Mr President, with respect, that he seems to have more faith in the way the lower levels of his Government work for public interest than the ordinary Kenyan.

Talk to the average Kenyan and they would let you know the frustrations and extortion rings they go through when they try to use the good offices of Government to deal with the powerful and the well-connected.

I can tell him for sure that if Mr Mike Sonko’s car rams my jalopy, I would not go to any police station to report him.

This is because I have seen him walk around guarded with more guns than you find in the armoury of one station, and I have seen him call in public the Commander-in-Chief to report a Cabinet Secretary.

That is how Kenya works and the Lang’ata school remains a microcosm of what happens outside your powerful office; you can’t engage the powerful directly.

To wind up, let us go back to the great fictional detective Sherlock Holmes. While investigating the theft of priceless jewelry in a luxury ocean cruiser, he discovered a strategy we can call two-step theft.

The thief first broke into a room and hid the jewelry box under the rich couple’s bed. When the lady discovered the box was missing, she reported to security and as with our police, every traveller was searched as well as all rooms.

Nothing was found. Then at the next available opportunity the thief went back to the room that no one bothered to search and retrieved the hidden treasure that he would at the end of the trip sell for a fortune.

In short, big people in Kenya are not stupid, they use less privileged characters to do the dirty work and feed them on the crumbs falling off their tables.

They also have an idea of how the two-step strategy works, and  that is why they are always surrounded by briefcase carriers and ‘professional’ brokers.

Seriously, you would be a stranger to Kenya if you think that Government records will bear the name of any senior person stealing from the public as well as copies of their PIN and ID cards.

That is why top Government officials could buy time through ultimatums, assuage our anger through apologies, and sooth the children by sending NYS personnel to bring the walls down despite the ‘thief’ having been given 24 hours to do so by Nkaissery.

This was a decoy and safety valve to allow mounting tensions to dissipate.