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Man shall not lust after his best friend's girlfriend

My Man

couple

A time will come when a man's best friend will date the sexiest woman alive. Electrifyingly beautiful, proper with hips carved in the fashion of a wasp, a bottom that swings to the rhythm of your lust, you can pay a million bucks to take her to bed. But she is in a stable relationship with his best friend.

 

Now, common decency demands that he should not lust after his best friend's wife or girlfriend. It risks terminating the many years of friendship he has enjoyed. Yet, not many people subscribe to the gospel of respecting friendships where a beautiful woman is involved. Often as men, we pray to the devil that the relationship ends so that we can sneak on behind our friend's back and get it on with their ex. Which again goes against the rules of common decency. But damn that.

 

Tony Blair allegedly did it with Media magnate Rupert Murdoch's wife and the old geezer has sworn that he will never see the former British premier face to face. Point is, in the presence of a beautiful woman who is not our sister or mother, men become monsters. Few men, I know, have the discipline to pass on a chance to sleep with a beautiful woman based on flimsy ideas such as friendship.

 

Remotely, we have genes that reminds us that it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

 

And here is how it starts. He first assesses her loyalty to the man and the level of discipline. If she drinks, it makes her doubly susceptible. If outspoken, he is halfway done. Many men, I know, who slept with the girlfriends of their best friends got an opportunity inside a bar when they danced with the beautiful woman. Dancing, to me, is the source of all modern infidelity.

 

So he goes to a bar. He buys drinks and plays big balls. He settles the bill, acting a gentleman and trying to be the funniest, easiest dude around. Surprisingly, beautiful women are constantly dating boring men, who make the job easier for us. And you will be surprised by the number of women willing to play ball. So the boyfriend will be cool as people chat her girlfriend, while they get him drunk. Soon, she will loosen up and dance with the friend stylishly and careful so as not to offend anyone. But while on the dance floor, the friend will take the number.

 

Step two is to meet her separately and privately. In the days leading up to the meeting, most men spend time sending funny clips on WhatsApp and ever so helpful in connecting her to that job she so desperately needs. Sometimes even getting her job or some good business deal. The boyfriend is never given any reason to doubt what is going on.

 

Step three, is normally exploiting the weakness of the boyfriend. Even if the boyfriend is tall, brainy, and good in the sack, it can get boring. And lately, more women are cheating out of adventure than desperation or dissatisfaction at home. Granted, the other man demonstrates maturity and discretion, it is always a 'yes.'

 

The difficult bit for the woman is to get over the experience. Sometimes, she might get attached and the boyfriend, even if a fool, might sense something and that can put a strain on their friendship. Sometimes, worse can happen. Like getting pregnant by the other man. And she can't tell whose pregnancy it is. I know at least two cases.

 

So if you are a man who dates a beautiful woman, be on your guard. Never let her dance with strangers. Never let her dance with your friends. 'Kikulacho ki nguoni mwako'.

 

@nyanchwani

 

[email protected]

 

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