How men are raising other mens children when their wives stray to find ‘better genes’

For close to two weeks now, social media has been on fire courtesy of a Facebook page, ‘Dead Beat Kenya’ where, among other things, women go to expose men who have sired children with them and gone missing.

An impression has been created that most Kenyan men are irresponsible. And that they are reckless and notorious for sowing their wild oats. However, nothing could be further from the truth.

Remember, just the other day, it was reported in this column that women are not angels but that they try to make everyone believe they are; the feature proceeded to expose how women are better cheaters. And cautioned that catching a cheating woman is such a herculean task. Reason? Women are excellent at covering their tracks. Consequently, women have created the impression that men cheat more. How smart, these women!

Husbands raising other men’s kids

Now, Crazy Monday has further investigated the matter and discovered that even as some hypocritical women cry foul, demonise men and accuse them of being irresponsible, they (women) are not as ‘responsible’ and faithful as they want people to believe.

Some women actually trap men with the hope that they will leave their wives for them. Others do so with the hope that they will use such children to extort money from men. And when poop hits the fan, such women play victims, run wild and report the men in question to ‘Dead Beat Kenya’ or Classic FM’s Maina and King’angi!

It has also been discovered that much as women accuse men of being irresponsible for siring children outside wedlock, most of husbands are unknowingly raising children their wives sired with other men (sperm donors believed to have better genes).

It must also be noted that men tend to be more scandalised because, unlike women whose illegitimate children can hardly be pointed out, unless through DNA tests (which most Kenyans cannot afford), they(men) can never hide children born out of wedlock for too long. The truth is always laid bare at some point in time.

Investigations by Crazy Monday have revealed that there are so many married women who have sired children outside wedlock but because of the dire consequences that would befall them, were they to reveal the truth, they dupe their husbands into believing these are actually their (husbands’) children.

Seeking ‘intelligence genes’

Gentlemen, have you ever noticed that when you scrutinise and observe your kids, there are one or two who look ‘strange’; they neither resemble you nor your wife or any other relative? Or they have personalities that are unusual in your family — super intelligent, more handsome, taller with athletic bodies? Well, the truth is there must have been foul play. It’s very likely that your wife sired those kids with a man with ‘better genes’ than yours. A very common thing women allegedly do, as this writer has found out.  

Some of the reasons women gave for this growing trend are very strange. From those seeking ‘intelligence genes’ after discovering their husbands only sire ‘dunderheads’; those in cross-ethnic marriages who can’t resist urge to have children with men from their own ethnicity; those in ‘convenience marriages’ and are desperate for ‘cute’ children from men more handsome than their catastrophically ugly husbands, to those who get pregnant accidentally and don’t have abortion as an option!

Take, for instance, a teacher who spoke to this writer on condition of anonymity.

“Of course no man wants to hear that one of the children he feeds and who calls him dad is not his. Some men are too busy to scrutinise the finer details about their children. Unfortunately, many are bringing up ‘strangers’ thinking they are their own children. One of my friends surprised me when she revealed that her third born child was not sired by her husband but some friend,” she said.

When questioned further, she disclosed that what motivated her was the fact that their first two children performed so poorly in class that she was afraid of filling her family with children who were not so smart .

“She told me her friend is super intelligent and good looking to boot, and didn’t mind incorporating his ‘smart gene’ in her family,” she adds.

When asked if she plans to have another child with the same man, she reportedly shrugged her shoulders and said, “I am not sure...it depends, I’ll think about it when that time comes. It’s a very dangerous thing, if caught you know I can be divorced!”

“My husband has never been keen to pay a closer look at our children. It is quite regrettable that I had to sneak one stray oat in!” reveals Anne*, a salonist, as she smiles wryly.

She adds that it just happened by mistake. “There is a guy I used to fool around with some time back. I knew him from college. Before I knew it, he had accidentally impregnated me and abortion was not an option I could risk then,” says Anne.

Conceived a baby with the neighbour

A look into men’s busy lifestyles, and the way women have become independent, leaves very little room for men to know what happens in their houses. Thus, many are bringing up other men’s children without being any wiser.

Three weeks ago, a woman shocked listeners of Standard Group’s Radio Maisha, after she called in asking for advice on what to do after she conceived a baby with her neighbour. Apparently, she was panicking because the kid has since grown and is an exact ‘photocopy’ of the neighbour.

And to make matters worse, the kid’s physical features are so outstanding that she has on a couple of occasions overheard other neighbours gossiping about it. She fears it’s just a matter of time before her husband confronts her over the matter.

She proceeded to whine to the radio presenters about how the shape of the kid’s nose and head resembles that of the neighbour, and asked listeners to advise her on what to do.

A secret taken to the grave

That married women are often tempted to sneak in a stray oat among their legitimate children is a secret they have kept for long.

Most wives have concealed this secret, and many have gone to their graves with it, and if they were to reveal it, lots of men would faint or suffer heart attacks, with countless others filing for divorce.

Jane Nyakio, a Univesity student, says she values children more than a husband and if by any chance she finds a not-so-easy-on-the-eye wealthy man who can take good care of her, she would still marry him. But, she vows to search for a sperm donor with ‘better genes’ to guarantee her good looking and intelligent kids.

Handsome man to pass me sperm

“Children mean a lot to me, if I had a bad looking hubby, I wouldn’t hesitate to secretly look for a more handsome man just to pass me his sperm...and if he is the intelligent type the better,” she giggles.

Nancy*, a public servant in her early thirties and married for the last seven years says that she feared for her life when she learnt that she was pregnant by her co-worker.

“I felt like the world was coming to an end. When I thought of the available options, they were very few and thus I decided to carry the child to the very end,” she says. Luckily enough, when she realised it, she duped her hubby who has accepted the child as his own.

A journalist shocked this writer when he confessed to siring a baby with a married woman who ‘fell in love’ with him just because they are from same community.

“I knew her through Facebook. I liked her, and began flirting with her every now and then. Much later when I seduced her, she told me she was married but had an urge to have a kid with a man from her tribe. I thought it was a joke. But as we speak she has my baby, and of course her husband thinks the kid is his,” the journalist says.

What can a man do?

“It is very painful to know that all along you have been feeding, educating and providing for another lazy fellow’s child, when you do not even know the fellow,” says Ambrose Musilu. The million dollar question is, as a man what do you do when you discover that one of the children you have been thinking is yours is actually not yours?

“If I discover that one of the children in my house is not my flesh and blood, I even don’t know what can happen on that day to the woman,” says Wilson Chotero, a taxi driver.

Kheyai Johnston, notes that it’s common for ex-lovers to get naughty when they meet after a long time. He says that at times if one lacks self-control, one may be tempted to do something stupid that one might regret.

Back in the day, he says, parents and other elderly relatives were more involved in marriages; they counselled and encouraged couples regularly to avert strange occurrences such as husbands and wives getting children out of wedlock unless it was in a polygamous family.

“In the past, marriage was taken more seriously. And there was no room for odd behaviour such as married women straying, and getting impregnated by strangers,” he says.

So gentlemen, you are not out of the woods yet. Women keep outfoxing you, again and again and they seem to be getting smarter by the day.