Rather than compete to win, let’s collaborate to survive

If there was a man that lived who defined the true essence of raw competitiveness, then he was Ioseb Besarionis dze Jugashvili, better known as Joseph Stalin.

He became leader of the USSR from the early 1920s until his death in 1953. It is said that he prohibited his guards from entering his private bed chambers even on pain of death. One day, in a test of their resilience, Stalin decided to scream as if in great agony. When his loyal guards came to their master’s aid, they were duly executed for failing to follow orders.

When Stalin did actually endure a paralysing seizure while alone in his bedroom, none of his guards dared come to his aid. He was later found semi-conscious on the floor of the room by Peter Lozgachev, the deputy commander of Kuntsevo, a town near Moscow. He died within a week. In Stalin’s distorted world, there was no word like surrender or defeat even in the face of such inescapable human realities of disease, suffering and death!

Thrill of victory

The thrill of victory and agony of defeat are two well-known human emotions. For many people, these emotions tend to paint the way they view themselves in relation to others. In extreme instances, the feeling of victory may give some the impression that this is the only way to learn any lesson in life. Similarly, some tend to think there are no lessons to be learnt in defeat.

Both reactions are false and products of a zero-sum attitude that we have heavily borrowed from the sporting world, and it is taking a toll on our way of life.

The zero-sum mentality believes that if members of a community are unable to attain the same level of success despite not having the opportunity to do so, it’s a personal failure not a failure of collective responsibility.

This mindset is simplistic and ignores the complexities of emotions, relationships and motivations. It is not enough to just have a box of winners and one of losers as in sports.

That is why Kenyans should criticise the winner-takes-all brand of politics that tends to define the electorate through the eyes of a zero-sum perspective. It goes against the spirit of our Constitution and, more importantly, the emerging market-driven socio-political psyche. This new business model illustrates the futility of subscribing to one-man-show ventures and the enduring value in seeking after the good life together.

This explains why Saccos, MSEs and merry-go-rounds have turned around the lives of common and not-so-common people.

Having a winning mindset has its obvious advantages. It generates intensity, determination and effort, and success can fill our lives with meaning. However, a competitive mindset creates serious problems. It generates unnecessary tensions and stress.

Achievement levels

Winning never produces lasting satisfaction because once the victory is achieved, the next one is quickly sought after.

That’s why a competitive mindset and pathological focus on winning can introduce a continuous state of dissatisfaction with one’s life.

Research continues to show that co-operation and collaboration, which do not focus on winners and losers, have been a more fundamental reflection of human activity throughout time in the world’s cultures.

Indeed, research by child psychologists has shown that children’s achievement levels are more superior when they co-operate than when they compete.

People who are plagued by a competitive mindset endure by tearing people down, making themselves appear invincible in the eyes of the simplistic, but it takes an expert’s eyes to unmask their underlying feelings of incompetence and low self-worth.

A focus on winning continues to make some humans behave as though they have a natural entitlement to demigod status and they are surprised when they are not treated as such. But the real tragedy for them is their warped beliefs, because it is only by focusing outside oneself that self-worth is validated.

The writer is a researcher in mental health. [email protected]