Uhuru must rebuke Gatundu South MP for his frequent coarse remarks

The Kenyan voter — the quintessential hoi polloi — suffers without bitterness. Wanjiku endures the most unimaginable bloviators. In Kenya, no political mandarin is beneath Gatundu South MP Moses Kuria in dignity. Filthy objects effortlessly fly out of Mr Kuria’s lose mouth every time he parts it. I can think of no plausible explanation for Mr Kuria’s proclivity for moving his mouth, and then engaging his noggin later. Don’t ask me why Mr Kuria’s verbal droppings have import.

He’s the MP for Jubilee’s Uhuru Kenyatta, the country’s CEO. Like in Animal Farm, the fable, not all constituencies are equal.

Mr Kuria reminds me of a neighbour’s kid in Kitui, where I grew up. Let’s just call the kid Number Zero.

Number Zero grew like a beanstalk. He towered above all of us, his age-mates. At 14, you could mistake him for a man, except he was a man-child. He had the physique of a man, but the mind of an adolescent.

He was a bully, but not a strategic one. Often, he would fall victim to costly miscalculations.

He would boast, and take on impossible herculean tasks, only to come crashing down to earth. But none of these misfortunes humbled him. That’s how he became an object of ridicule, and a butt of jokes. He’s never amounted to much.

There are many people in life like Number Zero. Mr Kuria is one of them. But unlike Number Zero, Mr Kuria isn’t a complete flop. The irritable MP counts among his close friends — and confidantes — Mr Kenyatta.

You don’t get any closer to the inner sanctum of power than being Mr Kenyatta’s homie. In Mr Kuria’s macho world — where bravado and braggadocio rule — this gives him the effrontery to make the kind of crass remarks he is often associated with. Proximity gets folk drunk. Mr Kuria is completely inebriated with power.

One can overlook Mr Kuria if he was only intoxicated with power. But he’s not just any buffoon, or demagogue.

Mr Kuria seems to believe the monopoly of violence shouldn’t belong to the state. That’s why he frequently gathers goons — replete with crude weapons like pangas and rungus — to inflict damage on property and fellow human beings.

In a scene reminiscent of the Mungiki, Mr Kuria led a bunch of hoodlums and thugs in search of breweries of illegal alcohol.

His mission — search and destroy any such property. Goddamn the rule of law. The man took the law into his own hands, and incited the “wretched of the earth” to pillage and cause mayhem. Cry, my beloved country.

This wasn’t Mr Kuria’s first brush with the law, or brazen act of impunity. He’s preached hate before.

Once, or perhaps even twice, he’s appeared to refer to our Luo brethren as “uncircumcised males” who should be excluded from civilised society.

He was forced to apologise, only to put his foot in his mouth again. He seems to harbour deep animus against uncircumcised males.

His tribal venom and disdain for particular ethnic groups is written all over his face. Like a serpent, he spits hemlock with natural instinct.

His bloodshot eyes give him an intemperate and menacing façade. His brusque manner of speech betrays a man who is tortured from within.

But the stroke that broke the camel’s proverbial back came several weeks ago. In the midst of the furore over corruption allegations swirling over the National Youth Service, Mr Kuria called for the physical elimination of those opposed to Devolution CS Anne Waiguru. When a TV reporter played a clip of the offending footage, Mr Kuria stormed out of the studio in the middle of the interview. I guess the kitchen got too hot.

Lawyers could interpret Mr Kuria’s studio exit as evidence of a “guilty mind.”

My crystal ball tells me that we haven’t seen the last of Mr Kuria’s bizarre conduct. Take my word — he’ll sink to even greater depths. He’s beleaguered by self-inflicted shots.

Mr Kuria seems to believe he’s above the law, and he’s got only one master — Mr Kenyatta. This is abusive of the voters of Gatundu South and other Kenyans who have to put up with Mr Kuria’s temper tantrums, near-genocidal remarks, and hate speech.

There’s only one person who can pull the rug from under Mr Kuria – Mr Kenyatta, his patron. Mr Kenyatta needs to publicly rebuke Mr Kuria, and ask the law to take its course.