I have learnt to use words only when necessary

The Look: That facial expression that says “the woman who gave you life can also take it away.”

If you do not know this weapon perfected by mothers, then you were clearly raised on another planet.

The Look is such a part of our lives that we can spot it on other people’s mothers, and react accordingly.

The raising of an eyebrow, squinting of an eye or snarling of the lip can say many things.

It orders a “tantruming” toddler, “Stop or else...!” just as easily as it warns a 30-year-old, “Don’t you dare bring that loser to my house again!”

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This strategy has come in handy numerous times so as to make sure meals are eaten, rooms cleaned and neatened, shopping demands downsized, family trips started in good time...

God bless the wise mother who invented The Look.

But I am not saying such kind prayers for the youngster who came up with the teenagers’ response to The Look: The Sulk.

The Sulk is no ordinary change of mood.

It is a dark, brooding cloud that settles on your former little angel’s face for anything from a fleeting moment to what feels like endless days.

It generally communicates being bored, annoyed and/or disinterested.

I have read that sulking is emotional strike action.

When I engage The Look to say, “I asked you to bring me my tea five minutes ago. Get it now!” the response from The Sulk is, “Unanisumbua.”

The Look says, “It is bedtime,” but The Sulk says, “Unanisumbua.”

The Look: “Have you had a bath today?”

The Sulk: “Unanisumbua.”

Teens and tweens are usually too clever to actually say the word out loud, but a mother’s software can immediately decode it from their sulky faces.

So, it has come to pass that my tween and I have been holding conversations that are silent to the rest of the world.

Sample this. Toys, books and shoes are strewn all over Tween’s bedroom.

Instead of the girl cleaning up like she was asked to an hour ago, she is reading a magazine.

The Look: When are you going to clean up this mess?

The Sulk: Unanisumbua.

The Look: I’m running out of patience.

The Sulk: Unanisumbua. (This time accompanied by rolling of the eyes)

The Look: Continue sitting there and I’ll...!

The Sulk: Unani...

This “tweenage” streak of rebellion is cut short by another motherly weapon; The Sound: “Eh?!” The Sound is superior to any look or mood, so the strike ends and the room is cleaned.

Actually, The Sound is not a specific sound as such.

It could be ‘Tsk’ or ‘Hmmph’ or ‘Grrr’, depending on the gravity of the situation.

A well enunciated “Eh” is pretty serious, so Tween actually starts to pick things off the floor.

To be honest, though, this does not always work.

Then we go a notch higher and start using gestures.

Because I am an “old school” mother, rude gestures are not allowed.

So I point and she shrugs, I fold my arms and she does some neck shaking...

By this time, I just want to throw my arms up in frustration.

So, why can we not just argue like ‘normal’ people?

Hmmm... (Shrug, sigh, shaking of the head.)