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Hard times as Kenya Premier League season ends

Sports

football fan

When the final whistle was blown to mark the end of the 2014 KPL season, fans of various successful teams rejoiced. However as the season ended, it left behind many orphans as well as beneficiaries. And here are some of the beneficiaries and activities that go on during off-season:

Isukuti dancers

This is the squad that comes from the Kawangware or Kangemi slums. They spend their time drinking traditional brew and doing casual jobs here and there. Most of them are red-eyed and mean-faced. Having a hoarse voice is also an added advantage for membership.

I am told that when the season is over, they look for alternative performance opportunities like political meetings or weddings that require a traditional touch.

Members of this troupe have funny or symbolic names like ‘Moputu’ (Mobutu) in reference to the late Zairean president; ‘Akwambo’ (Agwambo), Mandela and Museveni among others.

Counterfeit merchants

These guys openly sell counterfeit branded jerseys at match venues. Nobody bothers with them because they represent ‘Mdosi’ who is most probably a club official.

Bootleggers

These ones mostly sell alcohol and cigarettes. They sit on the ‘Russia’ side. I am told they sneak their wares into the stadium either before or during the match.

They buy big bottles and re-sell the drinks in small plastic cups. They also hawk ‘sigara kubwa,’ which is smoked openly. Now you know why the ‘charged’ atmosphere comes from that side of the pitch. This is also the crowd that invades the pitch when annoyed by imaginary enemies. They are always ready to ‘discipline’ the referee.

Ticket hustlers

This is a well-organised group of ‘agents’ who operate a cartel that works closely with gatekeepers. They lure fans who want ‘deals’ to pay less.

They receive and pocket half the official gate charges, issue no receipts and direct fans to specific gates for easy entry. The hustlers are agents of officials who print fake tickets which are sold either in advance or outside the stadium.

‘Men in Black’

These big-bodied, toothpick-chewing bouncers who are hired to keep gatecrashers at bay, but ironically end up ensuring the ‘tikiti za mpango’ chaps get smooth access.

Stewards

They wear reflective bibs and their job is to secure and cordon off the team from excited fans. They are supposed to provide security but sometimes double up as agents of the team ‘researcher.’

They can be used to ‘cure’ the pitch, especially the goal area. During charged matches like those between K’Ogalo and Ingwe, they would do anything and everything to protect the pitch from opponents.

The stadium management is aware of their activities but will only talk about them in whispers. They fear and respect no one other than their paymaster.

Team clowns

Ingwe has Isaac Juma and K’Ogalo has Jared Otieno aka Jaro Soja. These two guys might suffer serious withdrawal syndromes now that the league has taken a break.

Their life rotates around the two teams, making one wonder whether they have a life outside soccer. Let us wait and see how ‘Jaro’ copes now that he has bagged a new appointment from President Uhuru Kenyatta.

Hired matatus

The proliferation of branches for the big teams forced fans to pool their transport. Matatus are hired for home and away matches. This is good weekend business that will be missing until next season.

Hawkers

These vendors do roaring business during the season, selling all kinds of ware, from groundnuts, Vuvuzelas, sodas to mineral water. These guys will even sell you tap water branded as ‘mineral water.’

Soccer tourists

Nairobi West probably attracts the highest number of ‘soccer tourists’ because of its vicinity to Nyayo Stadium. The hood’s shopping centre witnesses a lot of soccer ‘tourists’ who also double as customers.

In the course of the season, pubs in this area serve as meeting points for fans, before and after the matches. Outside Nairobi, fans have also been known to invade sleepy towns and generate roaring business for locals.

Stadiums

In serious countries, managers of these facilities use the break to repair and renovate the venues. Sadly, the same does not happen in Kenya. Stadiums are permanently in a state of disrepair and neglect.

Transfer ‘agents’

Lies and speculation about transfer of players also flood in around this period. Idlers go to town with all sorts of rumours. Some offer to talk to parents of young players to convince their sons to join certain clubs. Many naïve club officials have fallen for these tricksters and even lost money in the process.

Hunger season

The hunger season creeps in between November and January. Children born during the ‘hunger’ season are named ‘Okech’ (by K’Ogalo die-hard fans) or ‘Simiyu’ (by Ingwe fans). This has been borrowed from the traditional meanings of these two names.

New officials

The season of hunger kicks off the campaign against ‘selfish officials.’ Since they have nowhere to turn to for handouts, idlers literally scavenge in town and even visit club officials for bus fare. They hatch accusations against some officials and concoct reasons why some of them should be ousted during the next elections.

 

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