If caution is not exercised, boredorm may set into a marriage, however, engaging in fun activities will re-ingnite the flame, writes ANTHONY KAGIRI.
You may think only children say, ‘I am bored, I’ve got nothing to do’, but couples say it too — just not often as openly or honestly, according to relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall.
After falling in love and or getting married, there is a tendency for couples to slide into the routine of being together and forgetting to spice up the relationship. Some couples imagine meeting each other’s basic needs of provision, communication, sex and security are enough to keep a marriage happy. Christians will add the spiritual connection to this and hope that theirs will be a happy marriage. All what these things do is to keep it ‘going’, but not happy.
Christian writer and counselor Nancy Van Pelt makes it clear that, “Unless a family that prays together, also plays together, the members may still go astray.”
It is interesting how people do all the fun activities when they are trying to win someone, but put these aside when they get hitched. However, it is important to always remember that love easily gets boring when we sideline the fun side of it. A couple should carry over the fun activities they have while dating into courtship and marriage. This way, they can ‘live happily thereafter’.
Hall advises that by making a conscious effort to incorporate fun in your relationship, you can improve the quality of your interactions.
“Not only does fun improve the bond between you, but also gives your relationship more buzz and makes you want to spend time with each other,” advises Hall.
Laughter and playfulness make people feel good and build emotional connections. Incorporating fun into the relationship beats the routine that easily breeds boredom.
“An integral part of the happy marriage is the ability to enjoy one another, to have fun with one another, to laugh and find delight in one another’s presence,” advises Nancy.
Setting the right attitude is the starting point in this journey of spicing up your relationship. One should see the fun as an enjoyable venture that helps build their relationship and not a task of pleasing your partner.
Having fun should not be an activity that occurs by default or subject to availability of funds, but rather a part of the relationship. Just like the way we plan for office parties, boys/girls day out and the church groups activities, love birds and married couples should plan to have fun.