With just sugar-coated tongues and right timing, cash comes flowing

The Village Wire with Man Man

The thing about being friends with politicians is that you always have money to burn. All you need to do is mouth work; say all things nice about them and voila, the dough is in your pocket.

This is a discovery I made not long after I dropped out of school.

Pascal, the village storyteller, has elevated this into an art form. As he will tell you, there is no better time to raid the politicians’ chest than in the run-up to the General Election.

Right now in Kimbilili County there are a dozen or so men angling for one position or the other, and I can assure you that money has been flowing, nice and easy. All you need is to be a member of the said politicians’ inner circle.

As I have stated before, I am Mheshimiwa Pora Mali’s man on the ground. Lately, however, I have been on the verge of ditching him. His ship is sinking faster than the Titanic, or so I thought.

Word of mouth

In the village we do not have opinion polls, the kind that you see in the papers every now and then, but we have the equally reliable word of mouth. And   if I were Mheshimiwa Pora Mali, I would have started entertaining thoughts about life after Parliament already. Mkombozi, the former high school principal has endeared himself with the electorate and seems set to take over as the Kimbilili MP next year.

After the disastrous meeting we had in June, Mheshimiwa Pora Mali is yet to return to the village. He has refused to heed my warning that things are thick on the ground.

But that is the least of my worries as I still get about Sh10,000 every month from him. This is the money I believe is meant for the CDF projects.

Under Mheshimiwa Pora leadership, the constituency has seen little or no development. The CDF trust is like his personal bank account. Most of the money, as I said before, is spent paying rent for Mheshimiwa’s numerous mistresses. Some of it also goes to college girls who don’t mind nourishing Mheshimiwa’s rapacious carnal appetites.

Mheshimiwa Pora Mali has put me in the CDF committee and I am supposed to be paid Sh20,000 (which has since been reduced by half) as my salary and I am a worried man.

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