DAVID ODONGO looks at some of the outrageous things that drunkards say and do in the name of alcohol
Thanks to the media, Kenyans have two mental images of alcohol: the cool couple in a TV advert and the soiled drunk lying spread-eagled in the gutter.
But the things that drunkards do make for hilarious reading. We have drunken men who wake up in the middle of the night but forget the way to the toilet and turn fridges, doors and even TV sets into urinals. And there is the man who collapsed by the roadside at midday and somehow imagined that he was sleeping beside his wife.
“Stop hoarding the blanket, Adhiambo,” he mumbled as bystanders howled with laughter.
Drink is also infamous for showing scant respect for the mighty. Wambui Choku remembers an incident during their company’s team building session where alcohol and roast goat meat were in plenty. Minutes later, a senior manager who was very drunk called for silence.
“Did we eat?” he asked.
“Yes!” roared the crowd.
“Goat, fish, chicken or beef?” he wondered.
“Goat!” was the reply.
Upon hearing that, the manager broke down in tears.
“How could we eat a goat? Goats are cute creatures. They have beautiful short tails and a nice goatee. Did it even get a chance to say its last prayers?” cried the manager as his stunned subordinates stifled laughter.