When a couple gets their first child, there are immense emotions that affect their world view, writes John Muturi
Becoming a parent is exciting, yet there is no way to fully prepare for it. The shock and sudden responsibility for a tiny, vulnerable little being that you created is followed by the shock of discovering you can do it after all.
You discover abilities and skills you never thought you had. You learn on the job and that is quite scary as well as exciting.
Having children changes you and your view of the world as the world becomes a more frightening place from which you desperately want to protect your child from.
Intuition is another positive quality you discover in yourself; you tune into your baby and know when he or she is about to cry and how to comfort him or her.
Nonetheless, parenting is not like a walk in the park. You become vulnerable in a unique way that no other experience does to you. For instance, before you become a mother, nothing compares with the stress of your job. Then you have a baby that causes you not to sleep or fear she is seriously ill and suddenly you discover what pressure really is.
You’ll often wonder why you ever chose parenthood. The chaos that a child brings into your life, the power of their rage when they cry, and the power of the rage this might bring out in you can be terrifying. It can be a struggle for new parents to deal with the strength of emotions, good and bad.
Having a baby can also trigger deeply hidden feelings from your own childhood buried in your subconscious. A baby puts you in touch with them.
According to psychotherapists, some parents who had bad experiences when growing up desperately want to compensate with their children, which is wrong.
Your priorities also change when you have children. You expect to miss the parties and the expensive meals out. But you don’t. You prefer the sweet smell of your baby’s breath.
Shy mothers force themselves to become more outgoing so that their children can meet other children and develop social skills. They acquire the ability to socialise and make small talk.
As your children grow, so do you. It’s a journey for all of you.
